 |
Wall Origin Story False
Boy Who Got Spat Upon Said He Didn't
The year was 1977. The place was Montreal's Olympic Stadium. Roger Waters, the gloomy-yet-bubbly, angst-ridden-yet-perky, dour-yet-exuberant bassist and frontman for British progadelic rock band Pink Floyd was pouring his heart into a rendition of "Pigs on the Wing", a simple acoustic love song about one man's infatuation with pork products and airline food.
 Roger Waters - Spittin' Image? |
The audience roared and cheered. Here, a fan shouted. There, one whistled. Another lit fireworks. Waters, accustomed as he was to performing in front of docile crowds of mellow potheads, had been tormented by unruly mobs throughout the 5-month world tour. It was, after all, the 70s, and the attentive fans of old had been replaced by an anarchy of teens hopped up on speed and cocaine, their senses inflamed and by the likes of KISS and the Bee Gees.
The story of what happened on that, the last night of the tour, has become the stuff of legend. Waters' fury and disgust could be contained no longer. He spat upon an unwitting fan in the front row, and was later inspired to write the Floyd's next dreary album, The Wall.
For years fans have listened to bootleg recordings of this performance, trying to pinpoint the exact moment of expectoration. They have never been able to. They could not. The shocking truth is that the whole story is false.
A lie.
A fraud.
Recently, News of the Pink managed to track down the kid who supposedly got spat upon. After a painstaking search and excessive research we managed to find the fan (now 41 years old, and who wishes to remain anonymous) working as a Patty-Turning Associate for MacRonald's, where he granted us an interview.
Here, fair reader, the shocking truth is exposed.
News of the Pink: So you're the kid Roger Waters spat at?
Anonymous: Yeah.
NotP: Only he didn't?
Anon: Yeah... er... No.
NotP: What do you mean?
Anon: Well see, he did not spit at me. That is the point. I was there, at that show, screaming like hell, and annoying everyone around me. And then Roger came up to the front of the stage. Right in front of me. And then he did not spit at me.
NotP: He did not spit at you?
Anon: Yeah, that's what I said. He did not spit at me. And then later, when I had friends read the concert reviews and interviews to me, he always went on and on and on about how he got mad at that kid, and spat at him--me--and that that inspired him to write The Wall.
But he didn't.
I was there, I was that kid, but he never spat at me.
It ruined my life, man. All my friends, you know, they hear about Roger saying he spat at me, so they come to me, you know, and they want to know what happened and how it tasted and such. But the thing is he never did spit at me, but they don't believe me.
It haunts me everywhere I go. Like two years ago when Jack Herkowitz, our assistant night manager, got caught sleeping with the owner's daughter (Arlene, the 17-year-old who was stacked like a pancake breakfast at IHOP) and got fired. So then Steve Horton got promoted to assistant night manager, and Petey Fisk got promoted from cashier to Steve's old job, and I just knew I was finally going to make the move to cashier. I wanted that promotion so bad I could taste it. Then at the last minute they hired some new guy off the street with no food service experience! Passed me right over! I couldn't believe it at first, but then I realized it was because my reputation had been completely destroyed by the whole spit thing.
Want to know what I think? I think that Waters is a conniving, evil sonofabitch. He goes on and on about "personal responsibility" and such, but he doesn't think twice about crushing the reputation of someone like me, a nobody. I buy his records, I go see his concerts, and how does he repay me? By telling the world that he spat on me when he really never did. Bastard.
That whole spitting story was probably just a publicity stunt to allow him to play the part of the tortured artist dangled too close to the edge of a breakdown. Ha! He sure recovered in a hurry, didn't he? Here it is, a mere 20 years later, and he's going on and on about Genuine Love and getting the "magic" back into his concerts. It all seems a little too convenient, if you ask me.
Roger Waters a liar?
Faced with this shocking evidence of fraud and lies in the Floyd Camp, News of the Pink went and asked the man himself.
NotP: Mr. Waters, you always claim that you spat at a kid in Montreal, and that that inspired you to write The Wall. Now that we have evidence that this is a lie. What do you have to say?
Waters: I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it is stupid.
We also asked those closest to Roger during the Montreal show.
 |
NotP: Mr. Gilmour...
Gilmour: Please, call me David.
NotP: Okay, thanks, Dave. Roger claimed...
Gilmour: No, no... David.
NotP: Right, whoever. Roger claimed that he spat on a kid in Montreal. What do you know about that?
Gilmour: Who gives a fuck ? Je dois pipi.
NotP: Mr. Wright, could you tell us anything about the spitting incident?
Wright: Ehhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmm, no. Bastard.
NotP: Mr. White, Snowy , please... no one else wants to talk to us.
White: It was quite a long jam at the end. I was enjoying myself.
And there you have it. Some truths are just too hard to stomach, even for veteran rock musicians. Join us next issue, when we bring you an exclusive interview with the bat whose head was supposedly bitten off by Ozzy Osbourne.